A 'Completely Scientific’ Ranking of Things RPG Players Will Definitely Touch
It doesn't matter how dangerous, cursed, trapped, forbidden, or obviously evil something is. If you put it in front of the party, somebody is going to touch it.
8. The Mysterious Potion
Nobody knows what it does, where it came from, or whether it's safe to drink. None of this information prevents the barbarian from immediately downing it and announcing that it tastes purple. Amazingly, this approach works often enough that players keep doing it.
7. The Strange Animal
The creature was supposed to be background scenery. It has no name, no backstory, and absolutely no relevance to the plot, but the party has now adopted it, named it Sir Quackers, and is prepared to abandon the main quest to ensure its safety.
Meanwhile, the villain you've spent weeks developing is wondering why nobody is paying attention to him.
6. The Suspiciously Obvious Trap
The floor tiles are different colours. There are holes in the walls. Skeletons are scattered around the room. Every warning sign imaginable is present, yet somebody will still confidently announce, "Looks safe," before stepping directly onto the trapped square.
Five seconds later everyone is rolling Dex saves.
5. The Locked Door
The campaign contains an entire world to explore, but the players are only interested in the one door you've deliberately made inaccessible. You know absolutely nothing about what's behind it because it was never supposed to matter and you casually mentioned it without thinking.
By the end of the session the door has somehow become more important than the villain, the quest, and everything else you spent the week preparing.
4. The Merchant's Inventory
Your game world contains ancient prophecies, dangerous villains, and world-changing events, meanwhile your players have become completely absorbed in a discussion about whether buying a second crowbar represents good value for money.
The shopkeeper was supposed to be a two-minute interaction. You've now given him a name, a family, and a detailed opinion on the advantages of owning multiple crowbars.
3. The Glowing Red Button
Nobody knows what it does and, frankly, nobody seems particularly interested in finding out before pressing it.
The button exists. The button is glowing. That's all the motivation a D&D party needs.
2. The Ancient Evil Sealed For A Thousand Years
The inscriptions clearly state that under no circumstances should the seal be broken. Entire civilisations have dedicated themselves to keeping whatever is inside locked away.
The party spends the next ten minutes discussing ways to open it. At no point does anybody suggest leaving it alone.
1. The Cursed Sword
The party discovers an ancient blade sealed beneath a ruined temple. A successful History check reveals that it consumed the souls of all it killed and brought ruin to entire kingdoms.
The fighter considers this information carefully before asking the only question that really matters: "Cool. What's the damage?"